(S)wearing Smiles

"Well, damnit," but I'm smiling
It has been a good long while
not that i love it oh but i do
I'm up against my will but what's a girl a do?
Yeah.well.um, here it goes again
Tried to stop it, but forget it
It's not a bud that you can nip just 'cause you want to.
"Damnit," frowning, smiling,
thinking, wishing--don't be silly
(Praying? really?) "It's not so silly.."
Crazy. Crazy - halfway willing -
Partly waiting for the ending,
mainly wanting the beginning
...and here we go again..