On Losing It Sometimes
I just realized I'm trapped
and the thing that's the worst is
I trapped myself inside
feel like cursing
feeling a little like Salinger's Holden
people say well wow I didn't know, you don't
show so much emotion, you know?
this is why, you let the dam weaken
a little, a little crack, then it'll
burst open, a whole flood of crazy
all thoughts like the voices of
Fiona or Regina,
tripping off the deep end...
and oh no oh no here it comes again,
that sparking in the legs and darting of the eyes
that too-common feeling of two hands
wrapped around my insides,
wringing my stomach like a towel
I'm toeing the hair on the ground,
confused. See all this blonde hair
on the floor, God they're everywhere,
and I realize it's 'cause I pulled them out
and put them there. oh.
and it always seems like
the little things convene to
freak me out but I know
it's not all about me and
those words aren't so brilliant or pitiable
and I know this but
it's not for me to care too much,
right now.
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